A random Twitter follower sent me a direct message asking if she might review one of my books on her blog. I didn’t know her, but then I have close to 27,000 Twitter followers so that’s not unusual. I checked out her book blog, it seemed superficially legit – there were reviews on there, it seemed to be regularly updated.
She didn’t use her name, just a pseudonym concerning her hair colour, but that didn’t seem too fishy – not everyone wants to be a public face. She described herself as a military wife, living somewhere in the USA, with a young family.
So I replied to her DM. Sure, which book did she want? I would ask my publisher to ping her over a Kindle copy.
Ah no she said, I had to respond to her by email, she gave me an address. Hmm, seemed a bit strange, but I did it anyway – sent her the same message by email.
I got back a long screed, a sort of embarrassed sales pitch. She was terribly sorry she said, she had forgotten one minor detail, which is that she charges for reviews. Her forgetting to mention this was such an unfortunate error – when she messaged me she said: ‘I was very tired and had baby brain’.
So, to get a positive review of my book on her WordPress blog I just had to send her $55. This might sound a lot she said, but it was wonderful value because her blog receives a lot of traffic and having the review there would undoubtedly mean an increase in sales of my book. As well as putting the review on her blog, including any links I might specify, she would put it on Amazon and Goodreads.
She still didn’t say which book, or name any of my books – but I could rest assured that my novel ‘looks incredible’. She insisted she would never dream of taking my hard-earned money unless she was certain it would result in an increase in sales of my book. She was an honest woman she said, thus making herself sound anything but.
She spoke of her love of helping self-published authors. I’m not self-published but I’m guessing that perhaps most of the authors she sends this copy and paste email to are. She empathised about how hard it is to get reviews and attention for self-published novels. She painted herself as a kind of white knight, doing what she does to help independent authors.
Actually, getting genuine reviews for your work as a small press or self-published author isn’t impossible in my experience. Like many authors I’ve been thrilled by how many readers have responded to my work, reviewing it on Amazon, Goodreads, and on websites and blogs. I’ve never paid a penny for any of this, and have never been asked to. In fact, in the vast majority of cases the reviews are from people who have bought my books, rather than having been given review copies.
But the market is getting tougher I guess, more and more authors self-publishing their work hoping to attract attention from a finite band of readers. I suppose it’s this situation that my correspondent is trying to capitalise on. But she is being quite naïve. It’s lovely to get nice reviews, but a single review, on a blog or anywhere else, doesn’t really shift the dial as far as sales are concerned. If only it did – how simple she makes it seem.
In reality you can have lots of glowing reviews, written by genuine readers who enjoyed your work, without your books becoming best sellers. Just ask any author, just ask me.
My book blogger for hire knows she’s being shifty and a bit underhand. She says of her proposed fee: ‘I know this may seem incredibly high and incredibly unfair.’ Then, in a P.S to her email asks me not to share the contents with anyone because ‘a woman has done this previously and it was not pleasant.’ I’m sure it wasn’t – it’s the sort of thing which annoys people after all.
Authors work hard on their books, they put in thousands of hours of effort and, for the most part, get very little financial reward. The idea that someone wants to leech off you by taking significant payment for a fake review is galling to say the least.
I sent her a brief reply saying thanks but no thanks, I unfollowed her Twitter account. I wonder how many people take up this ‘reviewer’ on her offer? I’d like to think nobody does, but who knows? it’s a funny old business we are in.
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‘Loved this book, a bloke’s view of the dating game, made me laugh out loud.’